There are three main components to an exceptional relationship: expectations, trust, and communication. Understanding the personality type of your family, friends and co-workers will help you in all three areas.


Everyone comes into a relationship, whether it is romantic, social, or work related, with certain expectations. We base those expectations on what is important to us and our view of how the world should work. Naturally, there are many different perspectives about how things “should” work. Those perspectives come from our core personality and what drives us. Some personality types put a high value on harmonious relationships; others care more about goals and achievements. Neither is wrong, but when we base our expectations in a relationship on differing values, there is going to be conflict.


Knowing each other’s personality type and the needs that drive it helps us to build trust in a relationship because we know the real motivation behind the other person’s actions. Instead of assuming they are out to ruin your plans, or make your life miserable, you can see them through fresh eyes. You can view the world from their perspective and understand the real reasons behind why they do what they do.

If you understand the personality type of the person you are in relationship with, you will have a grasp of their biggest need. Helping them to fulfill that need, understanding what motivates and drives them, will give you the tools to navigate even the most difficult conversations.


If you know the other person’s personality, be it a boss, a child, a potential romantic partner, or a friend, your communication can be more compelling. Taking the time to understand and copy their mode of conversation will win their trust. If you know someone’s personality type and you care enough about communicating effectively with them that you make the effort to adapt your verbal communication to better mesh with theirs, it’s like getting the key to their heart. You can build a unique relationship with other people that will have them remarking on your natural charm and charisma.

Strong relationships don’t happen just because we live together, or work together, or socialize together. We have to work at it. This is probably one of the greatest barriers to exceptional relationships – the expectation that they should just happen automatically. If they don’t, the assumption is the relationship is not a “good fit” or “we’ve grown apart.” In truth, all relationships grow and change all the time. They are either growing stronger or weaker. There is no third alternative. If you want to build a strong relationship, learning to really, deeply, understand the other person can be the key to lasting happiness, harmony and success.

Start building your people skills here: The Transforming Power of Personality